Hi there folks. It’s been awhile since my last blog post since that tricky thing called time tangled me up again. Drat.
In the interim, I accidentally discovered a futuristic household appliance. Last week, my vacuum cleaner broke. My home has three sets of carpeted stairs, a finished basement and a third floor with carpets, plus we have our Bernese Mountain Dog, two cats, a four year old, and a teenager with a lot of friends. You get the picture right? So there I was, a little nuts that the vacuuming hadn’t been done and that my oldest doesn’t seem to see the stuff that I do – somehow.
I started in the basement with plans to go bottom to top, until I was thwarted by an awful odor omitting from my vacuum cleaner to the point where the engine or motor or whatever, just went KAPUT. No amount of pushing the button, kicking it or shaking it upside down would revive it – nothing, just the click click of the useless on/off button. It was officially dead and on its way to wherever old broken down floor cleaners go. Since I was in the basement I had to walk up the dirty stairs and through our needed-to-be-vacuumed house frustrated and bummed. However, I immediately engaged the computer and spent about an hour weighing my options and reading TONS of testimonials on so many different vacuum cleaners that my head was spinning. Honestly, there would be five or six great reviews and then two terrible reviews for the same product – it was vacuum overload. Moving on, I figured out which store would be my best bet, and settled on Kohl’s with the 30% discount that I received in the mail the day before. I got so angry with myself for being so wishy-washy since every testimonial had the good the bad and the ugly. Except the Dyson Animal – people had nothing but love for the Animal. I stood up and strongly decided that I would get the Animal and spend the big bucks, one because I have a zoo house, two because I deserve it and three I had the 30% and I’d get a great vacuum for a lot cheaper than I normally would.
Yeah right. That brazen determination dissolved very quickly upon gazing at the various vacuum cleaners that ALL said best suction, number one on pet hair, etc. Forty minutes later, I asked for help. A guy-kid who worked there said he was willing to let me bounce ideas and objections off of him to help me decide and maybe take them down and pretend to use them to test weight, mobility, or whatever. Around the corner came his colleague who overheard us and said that the Dyson machines were bolted down and we couldn’t play with them. But, he had a little vacuum experience and quickly stepped in to lend a hand. Well, let me tell you, I wish I knew this kid’s name because I would send him something nice. He suggested I get the small red Shark, as he had one that he was very happy with and he also said he had a long-haired dog that sheds. Dude, he had more conviction in three minutes than I did in an hour. I was tired of looking from one vacuum to the other, making up my mind, walking toward the check-out -- only to come back and stare again. So, I went with the kid. Miss Undecided, looked directly next to the red Shark he was showing me and discovered the white Shark that is a little bigger and has an additional attachment - a Swifter-like pad for hardwood floors and specifically pet hair….plus it is washable….. like the filters...giddy J
SOLD. I bought the white Shark. It was $220 with 30% off. I went to the store determined to buy the Animal for $599. So, – yippee for me for being smart and not regretting a big purchase mistake!
Now, the story of the future begins. I brought my vacuum home and perused the directions momentarily….then I used it. Holy-SUCTION Batman. I am in love with my vacuum cleaner. This thing practically vacuums itself. It’s like having a housekeeper. It can do window sills and radiators and I swear I thought a few times I heard the dirt screeching when it heard us approaching. Mind you, I keep a clean house and can be a little psycho about it. So, you can imagine my shock and surprise when with a push of a button the canister opened and at least ten years of dirt landed in the barrel. I’m not talking about just dog hair – I am speaking of the very fine-dust-like dirt that was so embedded in the carpets that you only see it on commercials for vacuum cleaners. I had to empty the canister on every floor! I cannot believe what a gem this kid helped me discover with my new vacuum cleaner from the future. Some of you who don’t care about vacuums and cleaning up after everyone – remember; someone does it and that person would be psyched to have/use a Shark. Dun Dun Dun. I brought it over to my bestie’s house last night, as she too is coo coo for cleaning and within a few minutes she decided she NEEDS ONE. ( Just NOT FOR MOTHER’S DAY fellas! Bad move buying cleaning products for Moms.) This machine swivels – it does hard wood, carpet, linoleum, cobwebs, stairs – the stair tool is incredible and doesn’t leave a speck, plus it comes with its own bag of Pet add-ons that I haven’t even explored yet. When I was finished vacuuming that day, I remember having a very weird sensation because there was nothing left to clean. All I can think of is the Jetsons and how far we have come since I was a kid – my Mom would have loved this vacuum from the future – next is flying cars and who the heck knows! I guess if I knew that I’d be rich. I hope anyone who’s read this has a really good sucka vacuum like me – if not, test one out and prepare to get happy. Until we meet again, stay well, be healthy, and go out of your way to be nice to someone. Karma is good.
